Liking someone because of their personality, however, can lead you to become more physically attracted to them. You may find that physical attraction develops after a while. If not, you’ve allowed yourself the opportunity to make a new friend. Sometimes you need to experience something that doesn’t work for you in order to realize what you’re really looking for.

Yet we went for drinks and after our first date, I started to physically fancy him. The thing is, you can’t just discount physical attraction – the superficial part is if that’s all you care about, but being genuinely physically attracted to someone is not. Yes, emotional connection is important, but so is fulfilling your physical needs in that balance. Sometimes, when a relationship progresses, you may find that you are intellectually attracted but not physically attracted to what now feels like a best friend. When your partner feels like a best friend but the physical spark is not there, it doesn’t necessarily mean that hope is lost.

Other singles will be able to connect with them intellectually while also finding them sexually appealing. A physical attraction can fade over time as we lose our looks or change in appearance, but an emotional connection will only grow stronger. If you’re not physically attracted to the person you’re dating, it’s a good reminder that we should all be focusing on what’s on the inside. You might find out that you connect with them on an intellectual level or love their sense of humor. Or maybe it’s a purely physical attraction that brought you together. It doesn’t mean that they’re bad or even unattractive.

down-to-earth personality traits

Still not sure what to do about your attraction for someone? Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. If you come out of this with a friend, you’ve still gained something and you can look back on things fondly. It’s easy to get confused by how your feelings should… feel. They might have been nervous and less confident than they normally are, so it’s worth giving them a second chance and seeing how another date goes. You’ll probably chat about things that you wouldn’t normally chat about with your friendship group.

It’s not uncommon for people to initially not find the person they’re dating physically attractive. From personal experience, I have dated men who I grew to find sexually and physically attractive over time. I worried too much about what other people thought.

Find what makes your partner beautiful on the inside

This emotional attraction and connection take you from dating to wanting to be in a committed relationship. But if you prioritize personality, there’s a chance that their looks will grow on you. Getting to know someone tends to make them more attractive. As your connection with them emotionally and intellectually increases, their looks are less repulsive or not your type and more quirky or cute in an endearing way. While beauty fades, emotional connection and intellectual stimulation can only grow stronger with time. Moreover, Childs wants everyone to remember that for relationships, the beginning is only chemistry based on a gut feeling of attraction, then it evolves into something more with time together.

I’m guessing that if you’re reading this article then you might be dating someone with a different level of attractiveness to you, and you’re having doubts if the relationship can really work. The study’s psychologists questioned 167 heterosexual couples how long they had known each other and whether they were friends before dating, and a third party evaluated their attractiveness. Of course, it’s important to be attracted to your partner on some level – but there’s more to a relationship than just physical attraction.

When I’m not writing, I challenge my friends with meaningful questions about life. The fact that you don’t feel attracted to them is caused by other reasons than their physical appearance and sex appeal. This is why it’s not only possible but very common to fall in love with someone you’re not physically attracted to. For some, it’s a matter of falling in love with their brain. You love this about them and that’s enough for you.

It was fine until it came time to sleep with him and my gut basically screamed “NO! Little by little, his true personality showed and I just lost all attraction. Towards the end, I couldn’t even kiss him and my gut response was to turn my mouth away, so he could kiss my cheek. The less-interested partner is often accused of never “initiating” sex, or doing so at the most inopportune times making it less likely to happen. But don’t be fooled by the mate who claims to want more sexual intimacy.

“Time always tells,” says Childs, because waiting is the best to make sure they are into you. Waiting allows you to form some kind of friendship before jumping into bed, which she suggests waiting at least three months before doing. So, as humans, we need to be with someone on a romantic level.

Not everyone feels the need to get physical often or at all. So, to figure out what to do next, ask yourself how important the sex part of a relationship really is to you. As soon as you realize that you’re not sexually attracted to your partner, there are things you could do to figure out what comes next. Having a sexual attraction to your partner is important, but it’s not everything that makes a relationship work.

I suspect I looked even less like what he’d imagined himself with. This is a delicate matter, because attraction can grow. We’ve seen it with our friends’ relationships, and maybe older people in your family tout that very wisdom … but sometimes, attraction just doesn’t. I would reflect over you feelings both when you’re with him and when you’re not.

It was concluded that in relationships where the man was less attractive he was likely to compensate with acts of kindness like presents, sexual favors, or extra housework. However, if you are best friends with your partner and it was common interests and hobbies that brought you together, this is more likely to be a life-long thing. The reality is that as we age, we may lose our hair, put on weight, and see other things change in our physical appearance. One of the most common reasons for couples spitting is because they don’t have enough in common and drift apart. It can be easy to write someone off if they don’t have that ‘spark’ physically, but getting to know them better could reveal a lot more than just a pretty face. You may find out you have more in common with someone if you’re not just drawn by their physical appearance and looks.